We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
