Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
