just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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