Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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