I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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