Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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