I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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