so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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