yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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