20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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