Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize