When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
