Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
