who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
