I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
