I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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