dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We are two peas in an std pod
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Randomize
