this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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