So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
50% drunk capacity currently
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
