I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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