Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
