I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize