I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
