R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize