So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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