Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize