I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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