I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
