She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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