The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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