I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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