new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
