I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
