matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Plan B is the new Plan A
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
