my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
