508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
