It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
