I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
