Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize