We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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