WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
