Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
