I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
