yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
