you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize