i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My dick has a subreddit
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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