he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
