Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
