i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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