I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
