Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
