yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize