Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
