Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
