he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize