If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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