i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Too much gin, very little bucket
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
