I'm drive I can fine osifer
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
