thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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