so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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