I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
