very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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