The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
